“Truth and Reconciliation” Streaming on November 28
Next week, on November 28, the most important piece of music I’ll probably ever write will hit all major streaming platforms.
“Truth and Reconciliation” is the literal soundtrack to my latest round of intense PTSD flashbacks. I’ve suffered from PTSD my entire life, though until recently I was never in a healthy enough place to stay grounded. With a true support system surrounding me for the first time in my life, I’ve been able to take the necessary time to heal and have been processing significant trauma that’s been suppressed — until now.
This healing process has been going on for the last several months. I could feel a shift coming and was fighting it as much as possible, but there was too much going on in life and I couldn’t stop the flashbacks from triggering. It’s been a bumpy couple of weeks, with my sleep becoming incredibly irregular and being on sensitive emotional ground daily. That’s the trick with PTSD — living with it, not fighting against it.
It can strike at any moment, with any level of intensity imaginable. You can go years without a triggered flashback or barely make it hours without trauma being pumped directly into your observable conscience. It’s taken me many, many years to accept that I suffer from PTSD and is part of my journey.
It took me years to accept that I had anxiety and depression. I rejected the notion in the beginning, slowly allowing the readily available information to be accepted as truth internally. The very slow healing process began then, only to be interrupted time and again by the very reasons I suffer to begin with.
After years of talking myself out of investing in myself, I built the home music studio I’ve always wanted. This track, as most tracks from Cargocastle, features me playing all instruments myself as well as performing the mixing and mastering. I’m finally allowing music to be the invaluable part of my healing process it was always trying to be.
The years of experience, being forced into taking care of myself from a young age, served me well to start this journey.
“Truth and Reconciliation” is incredibly important to me and I’m very proud of how it turned out. For the first time in my life, I was able to take a sound I heard in my head and recreate it in the physical world with music.
If you’re so inclined, you can pre-save “Truth and Reconciliation” via the button below:
Thank you for listening.